It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Welp...herpes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
