Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
