Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize