Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
