i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
