Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i love accidental penises.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize