no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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