I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
