D3 body, D1 cock
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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