office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
