Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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