Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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