Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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