hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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