They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
