Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
