He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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