I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
