So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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