Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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