i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
