why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
