You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
