Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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