my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
