thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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