real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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