I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
