I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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