last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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