sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
