He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
