watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
