I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
