I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
