I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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