Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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