census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
