i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
