I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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