so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
