I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize