If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Randomize
