Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize