Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
