i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
