I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
