I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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