idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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