I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize