the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
