Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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