I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
that's an acceptable place to lick
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
