Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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