I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
