he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
