"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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