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I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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