You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize