just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
