he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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