He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
