Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize