What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
